The Barefaced Poet

You can never go back...

2012-01-19T18:33:00.003Z

That's the saying isn't it? Generally, I abide by this and if I've had a fantastic time somewhere I am always loathed to go back because I always think that the next time I go, it can never be as good.

When my sister and I were little, mum and dad used to take us and the caravan down to Abersoch and we'd stay on a camp site right next to The Warren. The Warren is the main beach in Abersoch and it's lovely; golden sand, lovely views etc.

I've been thinking of 'going back' for years, to see if it's still the same as I remember. So, we had a little trip there back in September and no, it wasn't the same... but contrary to my belief, we did have a lovely time...

Sadly, The Warren, or at least the campsite leading to The Warren, has been bought by a private leisure company. They've populated it with expensive holiday homes and it's all gated now. No access to joe public. You could still get to the beach by a different route but as the weather wasn't that great while we were, we didn't bother.

I was surprised at how small Abersoch is and how relatively unspoilt it is. I wouldn't mind a little holiday home there myself, if I had a spare few thousand, and you need quite a few spare thousand!

We took mum and Molly and stayed in a lovely log cabin type chalet in someone's orchard. They called it 'The Orchard' but apparently the trees were cut down to make room for the cabin!

There were a couple of straggly apple trees left. So I pinched a couple to make an apple and blackberry crumble one night as we'd been out foraging for blackberries during the day.

The weather was glorious the dayof our arrival then rubbish for the resrt of the week but we still enjoyed the change of scenery and the R&R.....

Anyway, some photos....

If this link doesn't work, let me know...

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150362451051757.403832.568396756&type=3&l=935a7596ba

Inside out!

2011-07-04T22:13:00.006+01:00

Went with mum to an al fresco music event on Sunday. A few local bands were playing inside St Luke's at the top of Bold Street, Liverpool. 'But how can they be inside if it's al fresco?' I hear you ask, well...

St Luke's is also known hereabouts as 'The Bombed Out Church'!

My mum actually remembers the blitz and the church being hit by the bomb that reduced it to the shell it is today. She lived in Liverpool at the time. Hard to imagine how frightening it must have been as she was only 9 years old.

We had to sign a waver absolving the organisers of the event of any responsibilty should a piece of loose masonry fall on our heads! If they were concerned then maybe having bands playing there might not have been the best idea in the circumstances! I'm sure it was just a bit of health and safety nonsense though. Hitler couldn't knock it down so a bit of folk music couldn't do much damage surely!?

We went to try and sell a few of my poetry cards as I hoped the St Luke's one might at least sell a few. We ended up selling 3, one each of the other 3 designs! Oh well, we had a nice time, sitting in the sun and listening to the music and we got in free because we were sellers. The entrance fee would have been £10 otherwise.

It was the first time either me or mum had ever been inside the church. I think she really appreciated the experience, it must have brought back some memories for her.

It was pretty overgrown and unkempt inside, but there were some lovely red poppies amongst the weeds. I wondered if someone had scattered the seeds there on purpose...

What also struck me (no, not falling gargoyles thank goodness) was how everyone seemed to know everyone else. They were all greeting each other with hugs and kisses and the atmosphere was lovely. Have we British finally embraced (scuse the pun) the idea of the European greeting? Or, do I not get out enough? I felt like I was missing out so, when Ian came to pick us up a few hours later, I gave him a big hug and a kiss!

It felt nice that there was so much love in a place that so much hate had once tried to destroy.

The Mind is willing...

2011-06-26T14:32:00.024+01:00

...but the flesh is weak!

Never was a saying more apposite than applied to Marfan Syndrome. Just google 'Marfan Syndrome and high IQ' and you'll see I'm not just idly boasting.

I have a VERY active mind, I can achieve so much in my head, it's just getting my body to follow through on those plans that I find impossible.

Someone of no consequence at all said about me recently "...it still amazes me how someone can be so active and still be signed off sick". I didn't realise I was supposed to switch my brain off when I became too affected by my Marfan's to work. But, I'm flattered that they give my health so much consideration :0)

One of my favourite quotes, by TH White from The Once and Future King, really sums up my attitude to life...

“The best thing for being sad,” replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, “is to learn something. That’s the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.”

I've recently learnt something new, it's something I can do sitting down (I have to sit down a lot!), I can do it whenever and wherever I like (not that!!!) and pick it up and put it down when I get tired. I've learned to crochet! :0)

Now, not satisfied with just making things for myself and my family, I felt inspired to try and make some 'pocket money' from this newfound hobby. Being on a restricted income, it's not often we can treat ourselves these days. I've got my mum involved too, she's 79 and widowed so it gives her a focus and a purpose too and she enjoys it.

We made a few pieces and did a craft fair and I set up a web site. We didn't make any money at the craft fair and, so far, our outlay has exceeded our income but we enjoy it and hopefully it might lead to a few pennies so that we can treat ourselves to the odd fish and chip supper! :0)

Now, you'd think people would be happy for me? Maybe even applaud my efforts. Well, most are and do I think, but there's always going to be someone who wants to piss on your parade.

Some spiteful person reported me to the benefits office for running my own business. They asked me to come in for a chat, it turns out that not only is what I'm doing perfectly acceptable to them, they also advised me that I'm allowed to earn up to £96 per week under the category of "permitted work".
I had to laugh because not only has this malevolent presence in my life been frustrated in their attempt to bring unhappiness into my world, but they've also facilitated the passing of this little nugget of info!

Now, as much as I'd love to have an extra £96 a week in the coffers, unless I suddenly start to crochet at the speed of light (which is unlikely given my joint problems, and I don't mean marijuana!) then I can't see that ever happening. But I really must thank the anonymous arsehole out there for bringing this to my attention! Never has the phrase 'pissing myself laughing' been more appropriate! :0)

I'm reminded of a verse from 'Desiderata' by Max Ehrmann, which is another piece of writng I derive great comfort and inspiration from...

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

So, I shall continue to be myself and strive for my ideals and, though this may not be worthy of someone with a high IQ (tongue firmly in cheek there!), I dedicate the following to the knobber who trampled my honour in the sewer of their baser mind! :0)

My little secret...

2011-06-24T12:23:00.005+01:00

I love food but I can't stand all the snobbery that can go with it. I much prefer substance over style, I'd rather eat excellent fish and chips sitting on a park bench than have a mediocre meal in some flashy restaurant. So, I wracked my brains about where to go for my birthday this year and then remembered a lovely little place we'd been to once before.

It's a small pub with lovely decor, located next to a lake on the edge of a forest and, more importantly, the food is excellent and the staff are really welcoming and friendly. The kind of place you want to keep all to yourself...but also tell everyone about!

I asked for a cocktail as an aperitif, namely a 'Cosmopolitan' but, being a country pub, I guess they don't get asked for cocktails very often so they didn't know how to make it. They asked me what was in it but I didn't know either! I said "you know, that cocktail they drink all the time on 'Sex and The City'", as if that would make them suddenly know!

They went to look it up on the internet and then this arrived at the table...apparently they didn't have any cocktail glasses so they used the nearest fish bowl!

Less 'Sex and The City' and more 'Benidorm', it was crying out for a mini umbrella and a sparkler! Still, it gave us all a good giggle and we had a lovely meal and evening.

And this is the view from the restaurant, over the lake. I just realised I forgot to tell you the name of the pub... ;0)

quackers about the locals...

2011-05-14T21:51:00.011+01:00

Had a very productive afternoon despite the rain! Bought some live mealworms for our OAP (old aged poultry), we have a raggedy little ex battery hen who we think is on her last legs so we're spoiling her with tasty grub, or should I say tasty grubs!

Collected 9 unopened copies (still with the wool in them) with a binder of 'the art of crochet' from a freecycle user, then headed into rural Cheshire. Passed several farms/farm shops and bought local asparagus and home grown Hereford rump steaks, mince and burgers.

Then on to a friend of ours, who runs her own cake-making business, and swapped some of her ducks' eggs and some of her yummy cake for 2 dozen of our quail eggs, and a spare egg skelter I had for some of her rhubarb plants.

On the way home we went to the Co-op for lottery tickets and a birthday card for my sis and Ian managed to get some lovely french bread reduced from 80p to 10p. Looking forward to steamed asparagus with poached duck eggs for tea :0)

steak, mince and burgers from 'Brosters beef' clay lane farm cw7 2qh
asparagus from 'cherry orchard farm' CW8 2HN
duck eggs from a friend's ducks

While driving around Cheshire today it was great to see so many producers selling direct from their farms.

and that, my friends, is un oeuf! :0)

there's no such thing as a free lunch...

2011-05-06T22:31:00.004+01:00

...but there are other free things you can get if you keep your eyes and ears open!

Our local authority reward residents who recycle glass, paper and plastic via the 'recyclebank' scheme. Every time your special bin containing recycleable stuff is emptied you are awarded points, which you can exchange for vouchers to use locally.
I've just got 30 litres of peat free compost for free from the local garden centre. I've also got a voucher for a tea room in frodsham for a 'buy one get one free' cream tea and a voucher for a local cafe for a 'buy one get one free' breakfast. Mum and i will use those at some point during the week while Ian is at work, sorry Ian!

My mum also changed her bank to mine recently and as a reward the bank gave her and me (for recommending her) some 'airmiles'. I used some of my allocation to get 20 x 500ml bottles of speciality ales and bitters via virgin wines. They arrived today and if they are nice I'm going to use mum's allocation to get some more. You can also choose to exchange them for wine, amongst lots of other treats.

I've also started to use a web site called 'readitswapit' where you can exchange unwanted books with other readers. You choose a book from their list and if they like any of the books on your list, you just send them to each other and all you pay is the postage. As a voracious reader I find it very useful and have swapped several books so far.

Then there's the 'freecycle' network where people ask for things thry'd like and offer things they no longer need. Recently, for example, I've responded to someone offering lots of copies of a magazine called 'the art of crochet'. And, while i don't really agree with freecycle being used to give animals away, we did get 5 free quail from there too. We've also given away several items; a cast iron chimnea, an old set of garden furniture, a couple of guitars, a couple of bird cages, a dog kennel and even chicken poo from our chickens for fertiliser!

I've also recently been on the 'Twinings' web site to register for free tea samples.

And, the elderflowers are almost ready around here so we'll be helping ourselves to the local umbels to produce some lovely elderflower cordial in the near future!

Oh, I almost forgot, I got 2 free tickets to a comedy club in Liverpool recently just by keeping an eye on their facebook page and entering a competition! The tickets were worth about £30!

So, while I might not have been able to get a free lunch as yet, I've not done badly getting other free stuff!

If you'd like to share any other tips for garnering gratis goodies, feel free to leave a comment! :0)

To The Lighthouse...

2011-04-24T23:10:00.016+01:00

A lovely Good Friday walk to Hale Lighthouse/beach. It nearly killed me and is taking 2 days to recover from but it was worth it!

Had a lovely medicinal drinkie at The Childe of Hale pub too before heading home...

John Middleton (1578–1623) was an English giant commonly known as the Childe of
Hale. Most of what is known about him is based on oral tradition and legends.
Legend tells that he slept with his feet out of the window of his small house.
Tales also credit him with great strength http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Middleton_(giant)

the long walk down to the beach....

there's just something mesmorising about sunlight on water....

the house next to the lighthouse is private and i assume they own the lighthouse too as it's all gated off. Their little outcrop would make a smashing spot for a tea room. I reckon they're missing a trick there! :0)

Frodsham hill in the background...

happy wind blown pooch...

gorgeous house in Hale village...

gorgeous cottage in Hale village...

Can't decide which I prefer...probably the cottage :0)

Click on the photos to make them bigger and get the full effect.

hooked!

2011-03-22T21:28:00.004Z

I'm really getting into this crochet lark. Just finished a poncho and matching hat for myself. I'm rather pleased with it :0)

Capital show!

2011-03-07T11:45:00.010Z

For Ian's birthday this year we got the train from Liverpool Lime St. to Euston and the whole trip only cost £20 booking with virgin trains via megabus.com. It would have only cost 50p by bus but we didn't fancy the 5 hour trip and you can't really complain at £20 return for 2 people!

We stayed at The MIC hotel http://www.micentre.com/ which was a stone's throw from Euston and opposite a really nice pub, and a plethora of eateries around the corner.

We dined at one of the plethora on the first night, The African Kitchen Gallery. We had the place to ourselves so had to make conversation with the owner. I wouldn't normally complain about a bit of banter but I was tired and just wanted to eat. Consequently, I ended up with terrible indigestion and couldn't sleep that night!

Still felt dodgy the next morning so couldn't do justice to the breakfast buffet and then Ian dragged me off to get the tube to the East end so he could walk in the footsteps of The Krays!

He wanted to see The Blind Beggar pub which apparently was made infamous by the dodgy twins!? Despite it saying it was open on t'internet, it was shut!

Very multicultural is The East end and there were several Sari shops, I wanted one of those pants and top ensembles but there mustn't be very many size 20, 6 foot 1" Asian ladies around cos none of them would go anywhere near fitting me!

So, we got the tube to South Kensington and had lunch at Harrods! £60 for 2 milkshakes, burgers and chips!!! Harrods, in my opinion, is totally overrated and I dooubt we'll be lunching there again any time soon!

not a $5 shake but an £8 one!!!!

The escalator at South Kensington was really steep and I have a bit of a phobia about escalators. I managed with great difficulty to go up it but there was no way I could go back down, so we had to get a taxi back to the hotel.

Back at the hotel we had a nap and then got ready to go to the West end this time! We went to see 'We Will Rock You' and it was awesome! £4 for a bucket of popcorn but we'd brought our own drinks and sweets and I'd recommend you do the same as a can of coke was about £2! After the show, we got a rickshaw back to the hotel, bloody freezing but a lot of fun!

Best part of the trip and if we go again I'd just want to see a show and come home, bugger the rest of it! :0)

Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out - James Bryant Conant

2011-01-19T01:36:00.006Z

I've always wanted to be able to either knit, sew or crochet. It's always looked like such a satisfying thing to do and some of the things I've seen people create are just so much nicer than anything commercially available.

My mother has been knitting/crocheting/sewing for over 50 years and is an expert at all things to do with fabric and wool. She doesn't, however, possess a great deal of patience. I remember her trying to show me how to knit when I was little and because I'm left handed and she's not, coupled with the fact that she was going too fast, we both got frustrated and that was the end of that!

I don't think the way my brain works helps either. I tend to look at instructions as a whole, instead of breaking them down into manageable chunks, get freaked out by how complicated things can seem, and don't bother going any further! That and the fact I have a limited attention span has always been a big handicap. I also tend to think I can't do something if I fail at the first hurdle, 'practice makes perfect' never seemed to make sense to me. I could either do something first time round or I'd never be able to master it, or that's how my brain always used to work.

This time though I was determined!

I bought a mgazine earlier last year 'The Art of Crochet' which was on offer for 99p. I practiced with the sample of wool and hook that came with the magazine, found it tricky and put it in the cupboard where it stayed for a few months. then I discovered a friend of mine, who had also bought the mag at the same time, had actually perservered and managed to create some lovely items! That was it, I HAD to try again. Not only am I impatient BUT I am also competetive to some extent and yes, maybe I was a bit envious of her new found skill and annoyed with myself for yet another tried and failed project.

Anyway, to cut a long story slightly less long, I practiced, failed, unravelled, stomped my feet, tried again and gradually began to 'get it', allelujah!!! An epiphany, practice DOES make perfect, well maybe not perfect but a damned sight better then when I started!

I have just finished making myself a scarf with some crocheted flowers at each end. I am very proud of myself for not only creating something that looks quite pretty but also for finishing what I start for a change!

So, next time this turtle sticks her neck out, she has a nice scarf to keep it warm! :0)

recessive genes?

2010-11-18T23:33:00.003Z

We're in a recession apparently and the amount of people trying to save money, or talking about trying to save money, has exploded!

I love it personally as we've been trying to live cheaply for a few years now, since I had to give up work. Hence getting the chickens, growing fruit and veg, amongst other money making (or rather money saving) exercises.

This is the diary of a chicken keeping friend of mine and I love reading what she's been doing to save a penny or two! http://diaryofapennypincher.typepad.com/blog/#tp

Apart from perusing parsimonious personal postings, I signed up to the http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/ newsletter and have had really good tips from that. For example, I managed to print off 4 x £5 Debenhams vouchers on line recently and got 4 brand new 'lock & lock' tupperware boxes without having to spend a single penny! The vouchers had no minimum spend limit but it was one voucher per item so, I bought 4 items that were just under £5 each which meant they were all free! Of course, it was one voucher per person so I roped mum and Ian into coming with me and then just smiled sweetly at the cashier! ;0)

We even got free parking thanks to mum's disabled badge! That's another good money saving tip, take a registered disabled person with you when you go shopping ;0)

Mum even treated us to coffee and cake in the Debenhams cafe, so I didn't even have to spend a penny all day! Well, not til I got home but I blame the coffee for that!

Christmas is coming...

2010-11-13T16:40:00.007Z

...and I haven't been blogging very much at all!

I've been spending most of my time on Facebook to be honest. It's more interactive and my blog doesn't seem to attract many comments, not that I do it for that reason but on FB you do get more of 2 way relationship with those with whom you share your life. However, you can't really vent memoir style on there so thought I'd pop back for a scribble on here.

I've been devoting quite a bit of time to my 'Poetry Found' project and another 2 issues have been collated, designed, printed and distributed to be scattered. Almost 400 copies were sent out to various scatterers in time for National Poetry Day. I adore making the little books and secreting them where I think they might be appreciated.

That's another reason I've been using FB a lot. It's so useful for, well, social networking! PF has its own FB site and it's invaluable for co-ordinating the poets and the scatterers but not only that, photos have been uploaded and experiences shared.

That's not my hand by the way, it belongs to NPD director, Jo Bell, who was also one of the happy band of scatterers.

Sometime in August, we went to Gawsworth Hall to see The Bad Shepherds. Ade Edmondson is a member and they are really rather good! The fantastic setting made for a magical evening.

I mentioned previously in my blog that we were intending to get some quail. We've had the housing for some time but not got round to getting any birds.

I saw a post on freecycle '5 quail to good home'. As we promised to give them a 'good home' we've decided not to eat them! We don't know if any of them are female but we've had them a few weeks now and not had any eggs so looks like we've inherited a bunch of freeloaders ;0)

And apart from some pleasant, miscellaneous days out here and there in between, that's about it for the last 3 months!

As for the future, I shall endeavour to tear myself away from FB from time to time to share the odd snippet, whether anyone is reading or not!

Carry on camping....

2010-08-09T00:58:00.000+01:00

Went camping again, this time just for the weekend, to Bala, Wales.

Our camp site (Tyn Cornel) was immaculate and situated next door to the national White Water Centre. A lovely riverside stroll took us there and while the extreme sports lovers splashed past us, we did some extreme cake eating and coffee drinking!

We also went on the little steam train that runs alongside Bala Lake and on the way home, we found an organic farm shop and stocked up on really nice produce!

our tent

river next to our camp site

couple of videos; one from the cafe at the white water centre and one on the little steam train...

In search of Cupcake....

2010-07-22T18:35:00.004+01:00

I received a 2nd hand book today that I'd ordered on line from America and inside the cover I found a birthday card! I opened it and it read...

" cupcake
even if you called Mrs cleaver a notorious strumpet"

Now, having recently had a birthday myself, I thought it may have been a marketing ploy from the company I bought the book from but clearly not, unless this is some strange coded message!?

So, I thought it might be quite intriguing to send a message into the ether to see if I can track down naughty little Cupcake!

If you happen to be on facebook, or even if you're not, click on this link and pass the message along the virtual grapevine and lets see if it bears fruit! :0)

I started out with nothing and I've still got most of it left....

2010-07-14T18:42:00.005+01:00

Since discovering 'Seasick Steve' I've developed a little penchant for blue grass type music. Actually, I like most music that isn't commercially produced pop rubbish!

I especially love a characterful pub, a good pint and a bit of live music!

We had a great night out last night at Peter Kavanagh's in Liverpool. PK's has been there since 1897 and is in quite a salubrious street lined with Georgian houses and lovely old lamp posts.

There were 2 bands on; 'Sidney Baileys No good Punchin Clowns' and 'The Flamin Mamies'.

Don't go to Wales if your name is Allan....

2010-07-12T01:41:00.007+01:00

Just returned from a few days camping in Trearddur Bay, Anglesey. The land of pebble dash and dead sea birds.

Anglesey has some absolutely stunning scenery but bloody hell, do something about the pebble dash! Almost every house is covered in it; makes the place look like a giant community of sheltered housing!

The last person to criticise the pebble dashing was called Allan and consequently they have erected several of these signs all over the island...

On the bridge that links Holy Island to Anglesey there were several dead seagulls. We had a theory that there must be some sort of weird air current, maybe created by lorries crossing the bridge, that sucks the birds to their death? A rather grim sight to welcome the weary traveller!

We seemed to have left the sunshine on the mainland too, it was cold, wet and windy and despite having (mostly) a good time, after a few days, I was ready for home.

our tent

cosy! the bedrooms are on either side of the living area

sooooooooooooo cold!!!!!!!!!!

beautiful beach at Newborough

but ruddy windy!

views of The Menai Straits

A pale sun poked impudent marmalade fingers through the grizzled lattice glass, and sent the shadows scurrying, like convent girls menaced by a tramp.

2010-06-23T00:31:00.007+01:00

Having penned a poem or several, I am fascinated by the English language and there was no better conjurer of conversation, genius of gibberish and out and out acrobat of articulation than Vivian Stanshall!

Ian has been a huge fan of his for many years and, by 'osmosis', so am I. He's been quoting bits of 'Sir henry at Rawlinson End' to me for many moons and it was with a strange stroke of luck that he stumbled across the first performance of it on stage since it was performed by Stanshall

It was at The Unity theatre in Liverpool and performed by Mike Livesley and tickety boo it was too!!!

Chickening out.....

2010-06-20T01:41:00.004+01:00

We collected 4 new chickens today. Ex battery hens.

Ex battery hens have well and truly stolen my heart and they are so deserving of the life they should have had from the start.

It always warms my cockles to see them beginning to enjoy being alive, rather than fighting to exist.

Our new girls; Maggie, Penny, Sadie and Rita....

I crave MY indulgence!

2010-06-12T13:51:00.008+01:00

Amongst those that know me, it's no secret that I'm a bit of a 'foodie'. Since getting our chickens back in 2007, growing some of our own fruit and veg and my new found interest (dare I call it skill?) in being creative in the kitchen, I (we) really care about good food and how it is produced and of course, how it tastes!

One of my food heroes is Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, he of River Cottage, and I've had a hankering to visit that part of the world and eat at the River Cottage Canteen for some time.

So, what better excuse than my 40th birthday! As I've told you in my little profile..."I avoid parties..." hate them in fact and so, as I'm well on the way to wearing purple, I decided that I will do exactly what I want to do for my 40th and that meant NO party!

So, our little party of 4; me, Ian, mum and Molly, set off... with visions of cream teas, cider and seafood dancing in my head!

We stayed in a little holiday cottage in Bridport owned by a lady who I bumped into on the internet. I'm a bit vague (it was a while ago) as to how exactly I found Jade, but I think I was looking for something to do with VW camper vans on 'facebook' (back when we still had our van) and I stumbled across her blog http://foodiemumontheroad.blogspot.com/
We seemed to have so much in common that I added her to my list of facebook 'friends'.

Some time later she bought a cottage in Dorset, moved there, bought the cottage next door, turned that into a holiday cottage and well...that's where I decided to base our stay!

And so, more about my fortieth festive foodie foray...forthwith!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And so, about that!

Well, we visited Weymouth, scene of childhood caravanning holidays...somehow it looked different, smaller, but then so was I last time I was there.

So much nicer than seaside resorts in the North West, clean and not a single 'fun' pub in sight. We walked on the beach, had fish and chips on the sea front and ice cream on the prom.

The sea was so clean and clear and the Punch and Judy man and the sand sculpture man are still there, it was good to see some things hadn't changed.

Afterwards, we drove up to Portland Bill lighthouse and there were stunning views of Chesil beach up there. 'On Chesil Beach' is supposed to be a good read, must get hold of a copy.....

Lyme Regis was very sweet but very hilly so we stuck to walking along the sea front towards The Cobb, that was after a delicious crab baguette that is.

There are some sweet little pastel painted beach huts along the promenade and Lyme was just simply charming.

and of course, I had to stand on the famous Cobb!

On the way to Lyme we stopped off at The Lyme Bay Winery and sampled several of their wares and came away with a bottle of elderflower wine, a bottle of mead and 4 bottles of apricot wine.

The apricot wine is mine!!!!! It is lovely and sweet and most definitely delicious.

So much more to tell but it will have to wait for another day....I have to tell you all about River Cottage yet :0)

All the best stories in the world are but one story in reality -- the story of escape.

2010-06-03T13:56:00.008+01:00

All the best stories in the world are but one story in reality -- the story of escape. It is the only thing which interests us all and at all times, how to escape.
~ Arthur Christopher Benson ~

I couldn't agree more, the vicarious pleasures of a good story!

My favourite genre of book is either autobiography or travel memoir and I have just finished reading all of Annie Hawes books; 'Extra Virgin', 'Ripe For the Picking', 'Journey to the South' and 'A Handful of Honey' and adored and devoured every single page!

The first 2 titles are about her move to a small village in Northern Italy. Of buying a remote, delapidated house with its own olive grove and how she got to grips with renovating the property, local customs and living without many of the modern conveniences we take for granted.
The 3rd book is about a visit to Calabria in Southern Italy to meet the family of her boyfriend and attend a family funeral and the final book is about a journey across Northern Africa.

She paints such vivd pictures and brings these places and people to life with such witt and her tales are just utterly dripping with life and so absorbing!

I was so in love with Northern Africa, its sights, sounds, smells, people etc by the end of the last book that I turned to Amazon to find something similar and stumbled upon 'A House in Fez' by Suzanna Clarke, which has just arrived in the post.

And so, my escape begins anew...

roaring forties!

2010-05-31T23:37:00.007+01:00

I'm sure all women approaching 40 (and men too probably, actually they're probably worse!) think "Oh my god, I still haven't climbed Everest, swum the channel, learned a foreign language or to play an instrument..." etc etc.

It's 'bucket list' time for most people I think and while there really aren't a great deal of things I wish I'd done, or done differently, I've always fancied having a scooter!

I saw an advert on TV recently of a girl zipping along on a pink retro style scooter, wearing a pink helmet and I thought, hmmmm!

However...seems, unlike other European countries, one must actually have something called 'compulsory basic training' before one is allowed out on 2 wheels on a public road in this country. So I signed us both up for the training, which cost over £100 each! The web site infers that you can take the course in a day but we had to go back 3 times. Ian passed on our 2nd visit but I had to go back for a 3rd time.

I found the damn thing very heavy and difficult to manoeuvre, they don't look heavy on TV!!!! I never really felt in control and on my 3rd attempt I fell off during a U turn, which I took more in the style of a V turn. I turned too tightly and me and the bike simultaneously fell over sideways, the full weight of the thing landing on my leg!

I am currently very sore, very bruised and very disappointed... but at least I gave it a shot!

Meanwhile, Ian is zipping around on 'our' brand new retro style scooter!

I've a good mind to make him wear a pink helmet!!!! Hurrumph! :0(

Pilgrim's progress....

2010-05-13T00:08:00.003+01:00

Just got back from a poetry performance night at the Pilgrim pub in Liverpool. I had intended to go just to watch but was persuaded to get up and do a few of mine!

Had to quickly grab pen and paper and try to remember some lines! Also had to quickly grab a double Jack and coke to settle my nerves!

I told the audience that I was very nervous so I was going to picture them all naked, which I said I hoped would make them more nervous than me!!!

It was pure poetry after that! ;0)

Never mind the why and wherefore...

2010-05-09T13:55:00.002+01:00

Went to see the Mid-Cheshire Amateur Operatic Society perform excerpts from 'Trial by Jury' and 'HMS Pinafore'.

My friend played the role of 'Little Buttercup' in HMS Pinafore and her husband was the usher in 'Trial by Jury'.

We saw them previously in October last year, when they performed 'Fiddler on the Roof'. The girl who played Hodel is now one of the remaining contestants on the TV prog 'Over the Rainbow' for the West End role of Dorothy, in The Wizard of Oz, Danielle Hope. We knew at the time we saw her that she was destined for bigger things!

I think G&S is a bit like Marmite, you either love it or hate it and I've never been a big G&S fan to be honest, I don't find it as humerous as it is obviously intended to be and I don't particuarly find the songs, on the whole, to be that lyrical. However, I enjoyed the way it was performed and there was the odd phrase that had me chuckling. So maybe I can learn to appreciate it!

But...I'm glad their next performance is going to be 'Annie' ;0)

Choc full Easter!

2010-04-06T17:50:00.006+01:00

...and I don't mean the sort made from cocoa! We've had a mega busy Easter weekend. We bought a tent, made a lovely roast for Sunday lunch, went to 2 boot sales, finished painting the baker's rack, decanted loads of home made tipples and started some more off!

We've sold our camper van as it was an expensive luxury that we didn't get the opportuity to use as often as we would have liked. We sold it to a dealer for a very good price and decided we would get a tent. We figured it would be far easier to just up and go with a tent, plus there would actually be more room to move around inside a tent than the van.

We bought a 'Gelert Albury 8' which arrived on the Sunday. I only ordered it on the Friday and it was personally delivered 2 days later; the perks of buying from a small, friendly, local company. It was an excellent price too!

It has 2 sleeping areas, one at each end and a living area in the middle. We're going to give it a test drive very soon!

Mum came round for lunch on Sunday and I made roast lamb surprise! Ian got a joint out of the freezer thinking it was lamb but it turned out to be pork...

I finished painting my baker's rack which is now in situ in the conservatory. I also bought some bargain planters from a couple of boot sales we went to over Easter. I've planted a couple of them already with basil and coriander and ordered some more packets of herb seeds; parsley, mint, tarragon, oregano and thyme and also some Ramsons wild garlic seeds for the garden.

Ian decanted our orange wine (which needs to mature for about a year now), crabapple brandy and sloe gin and the sloe gin is absolutely delish! We've also started off a batch of damson liqueur...

and this is the damson brew well on its way to being a tasty tipple! :0)

Spring into ebay...

2010-03-22T12:40:00.011Z

Now that Spring is here it feels like the time to begin new projects...

I bagged myself a bargain on ebay, a wrought iron baker's rack for 99p! I was the only bidder and I felt so guilty for paying so little that I took the seller some of our girls' eggs and a bottle of home-made plum schnapps!

The plan is to paint it with metal paint and put it in the garden with my herbs on. I've already given it one coat of 'Hammerite' and I will post photos when it's done and in situ :0)

This is the photo of it from ebay...

Our other little project, that's been in the pipeline for some time now, is our quail keeping plan. We bought ourselves an incubator and brooder for Christmas and the plan is to hatch our own chicks, bring them on then use them for eggs and meat.

Before you quail (*ahem*) at the thought of us eating our own birds, isn't it better to make sure that an animal you eat has had a good life, know what its been fed and make sure it has as stress free an end to its life as possible?

I've bought a 2nd hand hutch from ebay which we will make into a nice little cosy quail residence with branches, stones and little hidey places for them to, well, hide in!

Again, here are the photos from ebay and again, more photos will follow once its in situ. The run is 4ft x 4ft so nice and large... well, it is if you're quail sized!

we pasta the test!

2010-03-08T19:50:00.006Z

I used 600g flour and 7 of our girls eggs. I blended the whole lot in the food processor until it resembled bread crumbs then worked it by hand into a dough. Blimey it was hard work! Still, we now have fresh pasta and used up some of our egg mountain so it's all good! :0) Half of it is in the freezer for future use and with hindsight, half those ingredients would have been plenty.

It was the inaugural outing for the pasta machine we bought *ahem* quite a while ago, when I convinced 2 sheds that I'd use it immediately! Still, we got there...eventually! :0)

For a first attempt I thought we'd just stick to flat lasagne style sheets, which I cut up and used to make little canelloni tubes. The bolognese sauce and the cheese sauce were both home-made so all in all, we're chuffed with our effort, very tasty it was too and no chickens were harmed in the making of this pasta! (not a battery egg in sight).

Salute! :0)

relish it!

2010-03-06T20:58:00.002Z

spicy sweetcorn relish

**I didn't have mustard seeds so just left those out. I used white wine vinegar and I now have a lovely bottle from that to use for home-made liqeuer :0)
I also didn't have enough sweetcorn so made up the volume with red peppers. I didn't have a green pepper so used a yellow one**

Ingredients
Makes about 3 -4 average jam jars

500g tinned sweetcorn
1 large onion, finely chopped
1 red bell pepper + 1 green bell pepper, finely chopped
1 clove of garlic, finely chopped
1 red or green chilli, finely sliced
500ml white vinegar
250g sugar
1 level tbsp of salt
1 level tbsp of mustard
3 tsps of yellow mustard seeds
1 level tsp of turmeric
1 level tsp of curry powder
A few grinds of black pepper
about 1 tbsp of cornflour mixed with a little water

Before you start, prepare the sterilized jars and lids.

Method
1. Rinse the sweetcorn under running water and allow to drain.
2. Mix together the vinegar and sugar in a large saucepan and place over a low heat till the sugar begins to dissolve, then turn up the heat so it starts to boil.
3. Add the sweetcorn to the pan along with the rest of the ingredients ( except the cornflour, mustard and salt). Simmer the mixture for about 15 mins, stirring it regularly.
4. Add the cornflour mixture along with the mustard,salt and a few grinds of black pepper, stirring well.
5. Continue simmering the mixture till its nice and thick (should take no longer than 4-5 mins).
6. Pour the mixture into sterilized jars and seal tightly.
7. Place in a cool, dark place for 4 weeks. It will keep for at least 4 months (unopened).

hatching a plan...

2010-03-01T19:28:00.007Z

We've got too many eggs! Or, have we got too many chickens? No, definitely not too many chickens, no such thing as too many chickens! ;0)

What to do with all these surplus eggs then, even with giving them away to family and friends I still can't use them up fast enough.

Sell them of course! :0)

So, I got some cards printed up from 'vista print' for free, I only had to pay a small amount for postage. I put the name of our road in front of the word 'eggs' to make it stand out and I popped them through all our neighbours' doors.

front

back

So far, I've got an order for a dozen eggs a week from one neighbour. I always fancied being a farmer! :0)

have you seen the muffins? Man!

2010-02-20T19:43:00.024Z

been busy making muffins after finding the best muffin recipe ever!

makes approx 12 muffins

Preheat oven to 180 celcius

250g plain flour
2 tsp baking powder
200g caster sugar
250g plain yoghurt
90ml vegetable oil
1 egg
150g chocolate chips (or whatever else you fancy adding)

Mix together all the dry ingredients
Mix together (separately) all the wet ingredients
Mix dry and wet together, give a quick stir to combine, but don't overbeat.

Spoon into muffin cases - Bake for 20-25 minutes ....

Poetic Just is...

2010-02-18T18:16:00.013Z

Well, I finally plucked up the courage to let my poetic juices flow in public! Nothing is ever as bad as you anticipate it to be I find and, despite being very nervous, I actually enjoyed it!

I asked if I could go on later so I could have a couple of glasses of Dutch Courage but the line up was decided by names out of a hat and guess what...fate decreed that I was to be first on!

Probably better that way, over and done with and then I could sit back and enjoy the other poets.

It was an open mic event run by 'The Dead Good Poets Society' of Liverpool and it was entitled 'liverpool's Most Romantic Poet'. The title didn't go to me but I had a great time and I was awarded a little fridge magnet of a pink chick with a heart which says 'You're so tweet' :0)

Think I might like to do it again!

A video capture from Ian's mobile, a photo and the transcript of the poem...

Hugh Fearlessly-Eatsitall!

I dug up the sprouts
Grown from seed that I took in
The River Cottage garden
When no-one was lookin'

Sold my spade and my fork
Disposed of the hoe
Paved over the raised Bed
So nothing can grow

My heart used to race
My pulse used to quicken
When I looked at that photo
Of you with your chicken

But I tore up your menus
Did my best to forget you
Got utterly legless
With the last of the home-brew

Never more will I see you
Thru rose tinted frames
Or picture us foraging
Down quiet country lanes

Gonna give up ‘The Good Life’
And hang up me wellies
I seem to have gone right off
Your jams, curds and jellies!

I used to have passion
For a life that was green
Then I saw you eat slugs
Now I’m not quite so keen

For anyone who doesn't know, the poem is about a TV chef/chicken hero from 'River Cottage' in the UK, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, who is famous for cooking and eating unconventional things!

Wine is sunlight, held together by water. ~ Galileo

2009-12-21T18:20:00.009Z

And when finished, vin d'orange does seem to uphold this theory, from what I've seen :0)

I've finally got round to starting off my 'vin d'orange'. I read about it in Susan Loomis' 'Tarte Tatin' and it sounded sublime so just had to give it a go!

There are several versions of it on the net so I've amalgamted the ideas from Susan's recipe and what I read on the net and this comes pretty close to authentic as far as I'm concerned, time will tell as to whether it meets expectations :0)

I used:

6 oranges

750g of sugar (1/2 vanilla sugar and 1/2 granulated sugar)

1 vanilla pod

2 tbsps of coffee beans

2 litres of medium/dry white wine

1/2 litre of vodka

slice the oranges and split all the ingredients between 2 x 2 litre jars or, if you have a jar large enough, just bung it all in the one jar!

Shake every day for about a month then strain into bottles and leave for at least a month but apparently it's far nicer if you can leave it for 12 months.

I'll let you know! :0)

It's better to give...

2009-12-18T00:16:00.007Z

...than to recieve, or so the saying goes and I wholeheartedly go along with it! :0)

I love giving gifts to people and the whole planning the gift, choosing (or in this case making) the gift and (hopefully) seeing it positively received.

I've just made 21 bags of chocolate truffles for 2 sheds' staff, 126 truffles in all! I also made the little sparkly wreath gift tags on the bags.

I thoroughly enjoyed shopping in the craft store for the beads and bits and bobs to make the tags, I loved browsing the net for truffle recipes. I especially loved the quality control testing while making the truffles, mmmm, and seeing the finished result looking all pretty on my counter top.

Isn't that what it's all about? ;0)

you see this guise...

2009-12-16T00:02:00.007Z

I dreamt last night.
A dream of guise,
Compelling resolution.
Yet no relief,
From fruitless sighs
Just an hallucination.

1 potato, 2 potato, 3 potato.......for?

2009-12-07T01:18:00.002Z

up late again....!

searching for 'ratte' potato tubers. I read about their delicious nutty flavour in Susan Loomis' 'Tarte Tatin' and had to have some!

Trouble is, I start looking on the seed merchant's web site and I can't stop! Before I know it I have 3 varieties of potato, lettuce seeds and onion sets in my basket! Whoa!! You have a discount card for the local garden centre, why are you paying postage and packing and buying on-line you veggie junkie!!??

And do you know what's worse, the lettuce is for the chickens...they do like the odd cooked potato too though :0)

It's not just the potatoes that are nutty!

A film, a book, a song.....just a few words.

2009-12-05T01:25:00.006Z

Got a stinky cold and feeling sorry for myself.....

.....Up late watching soppy old romantic films...."Must Like Dogs" and please...anyone with a modicum of taste would have picked John Cusack in the beginning!

.....Googling for recipes for 'vin d'oranges' (got the idea from Susan Loomis' book 'Tarte Tatin' which I'm devouring at the moment!) and 'vin de pamplemousse'......

...... and listening to this lovely rendition of 'Sweet Child of Mine' by 'Taken by Trees' (love the name of the band!).....

Time for bed then and maybe a hot Ribena :0)

Advent chores...

2009-11-28T16:15:00.005Z

I've started my 'Open University' course - Y160 'Making Sense of The Arts', I've been helping my mum with a little project she's got going making home-made knits

http://www.folksy.com/shops/ShelaghKnits We've done a couple of craft fairs and have one coming up soon.

Ian and I have bought an incubator and brooder (our Christmas present to ourselves!) as we have plans, in the spring, to start rearing our own quail for the table. We went on a course earlier this year to learn how to dispatch and prep chickens for the table, but we haven't enough room in the garden for more jungle foul and quail are less noisy. I have no idea how I'm going to feel about those little balls of fluff that come out of the egg, ending up on my plate but, as I keep telling myself, it's far better than commercially reared and slaughtered meat, both for us and the bird!

Together with the preparations for Christmas, it's been a bit busy round here lately so no time for blogging. The (free range) turkey has been ordered, some of the bits and bobs, nibbles and nuts have been shopped for and I'm looking forward to cooking my first solo Christmas dinner! We've always alternated between parents but my sister and her BF are going to have lunch with a fellow mariner, mum is going to my cousin's with my auntie and uncle and Ian's family have got a lot of folk coming for lunch. We were invited but I just felt like a quiet(er) day this year. Just the 9 of us; me, Ian, Molly and the girls who I will no doubt make extra roast potatoes for :0)

To Life!

2009-10-11T14:00:00.022+01:00

It would have been my dad's 82nd birthday yesterday and it's the first one we've spent without him, so we decided to fill our day. Partly to take our mind off the sadness and partly because, when you lose someone, you get a sharp reminder to make the most of the time you have left and dad would have wanted us to do so!

Mum and I were up early to go and get our flu jabs. The local surgery had obviously decided to get all the jabs done in one day and you could have been forgiven for mistaking the surgery for the post office, due to the queue of elderly folk! It was a very effective system as we were in, thumped in the arm (well, that's how it feels afterwards!) and out in moments!

We then went for a rummage at a garage sale, most of it was tat but I still came away with a nice little rustic garlic pot and a small glass jar. The woman asked for my knickers in exchange, I was rather taken aback and thought it a high price to pay for some bric a brac! My mum explained she wanted a nicker (i.e. £1), thank goodness, it was a cold day!

Mum and me then went to the local garden centre for lattes and toast, where we bought some bird seed and nuts. We went to feed the birds and squirrels at the cemetry, in memory of my dad. I'd much rather do something like that than leave a bunch of flowers, what better way to celebrate a life than to help preserve other life!

In the evening we (me, mum and 2 sheds) went to The Grange Theatre Northwich to see 'The Mid-Cheshire Amateur Operatic Society' perform 'Fiddler on the Roof'. One of my chicken keeping friends was in the cast. We had a bag of layers pellets (chicken feed to you!) that we needed to to give to her so we bunged that in the boot of the car and off we set.

The show was really good, it was performed 'in the round' and we were on the front row so had a great view of all the action! One of the reasons we don't go to the theatre more often is we always seem to end up with the crappy seats! Either no leg room, no visibility or sat near someone with TB or St Vitus' Dance!

During the interval we shared a bag of M&Ms we'd sneaked in. We always take our own refreshments to the theatre/cinema, I refuse to pay for overpriced snacks! Anyway, I say "sneaked" because when we got there, there was a sign on the door 'No food or drink to be taken into the auditorium". So, we smuggled our contraband in under the cover of a Co-Op carrier bag, okay maybe not so subtle but nobody challenged us.

We scoffed our illegal treat during the interval and just as we'd finished, a chap approached us and said "I've been told to come and get a bag of food off you!".
My face fell, we'd been caught red-handed! (well; red, yellow, green and brown but the blue ones are my favourites!)
I don't like getting into trouble, I'm not good with confrontation and I didn't want to get thrown out, after all, we had great seats for a change!

I was just about to confess all but it turned out the chap was my friend's husband, come to arrange collection of the chicken food!

Honey...I shrunk the bank balance...

2009-10-03T21:24:00.031+01:00

We went to a beekeeping seminar today. Still not got any bees yet, we're still in the research stage. One of the seminar speakers cracked a joke which elicited a knowing chuckle from the audience! He said, when he was younger, someone said to his father...

"You like honey don't you? Why don't you keep bees, then you can have free honey!.

That reminded me of how I broached the subject of getting chickens with 2 sheds. I thought if I could convince him it would be economically sound, he would be as excited about the whole idea as me. Of course, at that point, I was convinced we were going to save a fortune, "Everybody on moneysavingexpert.com raves about keeping chickens!" I enthused!
I suggested we get ex-battery hens which would only cost 50 pence each. I also suggested he could build a run for them out of scrap wood and then all we'd need to do is buy food and a few bits and pieces. I convinced him it would be a minimal outlay for a copious egg lay!

The wooden coop we bought cost about £150 on e-bay (and that was the cheapest we could find!) and it only lasted less than a year before it was riddled with red mite and warped so badly it leaked!

We've also had to buy layers mash, poultry grit, oyster shell, garlic powder, red mite powder, diatom powder, poultry spice, apple cider vinegar, poultry shield, lifeguard poultry tonic, flubenvet, citricidal, limestone flour, mite spray, aubiose (bedding), garden lime, stalosan F, various feeders and drinkers not to mention the treats they adore like mealworms! And those are just the things I can remember, not to mention vets bills for the poorly ones.

We ultimately forked out for an Omlet cube and an Eglu as they were much easier to clean and keep red mite free but they don't come cheap, mainly because there is no decent comparable product on the market. I think combined they came to almost £700!
Then there was the wire mesh, wood and roofing for the run (we never had any scrap wood!).

Don't get me wrong, I adore our girls and the run looks fabulous (even if I do say so myself!) and the eggs taste out of this world but, pound for pound, they probably cost 10 times the price of Kobe beef, although we do stop short at massaging our chickens, but I bet they'd enjoy a beer or two!

That's another thing about chickens, people will tell you they will eat ANYTHING! Not true. Unless we have the pickiest fowl on the planet!?
They'll eat lettuce but turn their nose up at cabbage. They adore grapes, plums and strawberries but give them a banana or an apple and they'll look at you like you're trying to get them to eat arsenic!

I have been known to buy corn on the cob, a punnet of grapes or cook pasta or potato especially for the chickens!

And to think, we actually give our eggs away to friends and family, they have no idea how lucky they are!

It's the same with beekeeping, there's as much paraphernalia (if not more) to shell out for than with chickens. Well, even if you only have one hive, you'll have at least 20,000 little buzzers to keep healthy and happy!

So, when somebody gives you eggs laid by their garden hens or honey from their own bees, show the appropriate level of gratitude because they'll be the MOST expensive eggs and honey you've ever had in your life!

A poem...

2009-10-02T17:46:00.004+01:00

I suppose it's about time I posted something poetry related...

I love to find images to couple my poetry with. I think, providing I find the right image, that it really enhances the meaning of the poem so if the reader doesn't immediately 'get' what I'm writing about, they can usually decipher the intent behind the words from the image.

I'm not doing it solely for readers of my poetry though, I just like the way my words 'look' with the right picture.

I stumbled across this image recently, entitled 'Sebastiana' by Stephen Hender and immediately wanted to use it for a poem I wrote in 2004!

Go placidly amid the noise and haste...

2009-10-02T12:39:00.008+01:00

I love being silent! I have been known to text or e-mail 2 sheds...while we're in the same room! I only speak when I feel it's absolutely necessary to say something. This is possibly why I don't have many 'non virtual' friends because, while I don't enjoy verbalising, I adore writing! A colleague of mine once showed me her e-mail inbox and it was overflowing with missives from me, and she sat next to me!

I was one of those kids that had several pen pals but very few 'proper' friends. I just wasn't interested in chatting. I prefer to watch and listen but even then I often drift off into my own little reverie. I am not loquacious, garrulous or particularly interested in gossip.

I wrote a poem dedicated to 2 sheds for our wedding day, but asked someone else to read it out!

I think it drives 2 sheds insane! You'd think it would be every man's dream to have a quiet wife but then I s'pose if the only time I speak to him is to remind him to take the rubbish out or clean the chicken coop, it could be tiresome and despite me not speaking much, he calls me a nag!

My last job, for this reason, was absolute hell! I worked in a call centre. Call Centres have been described as the modern sweat shops but this call centre was the kind of place that makes a sweat shop look like a bit of a cushy number!

The company had just introduced free broadband. In reality it was a phone and internet bundle and you paid for the phone part of the package but the internet bit was advertised as being free (despite the fact that you couldn't have one without the other!).

People being human (well, most of them anyway) saw the word 'free' and it was an utter 'free for all' (pardon the pun) to sign up!

The problem was, the company didn't have enough staff to handle the calls, enough engineers to connect people up quickly enough or to fix faults so what was a clever (debatable) marketing ploy turned into an absolute nightmare for the poor saps (like me) who had to answer the phone.

The situation was compounded by the company not giving the staff the correct training on the right systems to actually be able to help the customer! Talk about being stuck between a rock and a screaming customer! It was so busy that at one point a memo was sent round telling staff how many toilet breaks they were allowed and encouraged them to wait until their lunch break to use the facilities, the company literally took the piss!

The daily volume of calls was beyond ridiculous and there were always calls holding, waiting to be answered. This meant I talked non-stop, all day long! My tongue was literally sore by the end of the day and on occasions, swollen! I came home feeling like I'd just had dental work done! I had a permanent sore throat and a cough, not to mention being stressed to the point of collapse!

I did eventually collapse and it was possibly the best thing that ever happened to me because it got me out of that hell hole (allbeit via an ambulance) and I haven't been back since!

I have concluded that talking isn't good for me.!!! To compound it all, I have developed a slight nervous stutter, so, if it's all right with you, I'd rather shut up!

Oh and if 2 sheds is reading this, could I please have a cup of tea, will you clean the chickens out and can you take the rubbish out? Thanks love! ;0) xxx

Giz a job!

2009-10-01T17:06:00.006+01:00

2 sheds was interviewing candidates for a cleaning job yesterday. I would imagine interviewing people can be quite tedious, but then you get the odd character that spices up the process! There was one particular male candidate who obviously wanted to make an impression and I'd say he succeeded!

Bear in mind, this guy is in his 50s and not some wet behind the ears youngster!

2 sheds asks him,"what cleaning duties do you enjoy?" (he tells me this is a set interview question, generally designed to elicit a response that tells the interviewer that the candidate takes pride in their job!)

candidate..."I hate cleaning"

2 sheds fights the urge to ask him what the hell he was doing there then, and went on to question 2!

"Why do we clean?"

Expecting some intuitive responses such as; 'To create a good impression for visitors, to avoid the spread of germs, to remove hazards...etc'

candidate..."to get paid"

By this point 2 sheds had decided his fate but had to carry on...you never konw, he might save himself yet with a brilliant, insightful, intelligent response! 2 sheds asks, "What are the consequences of not cleaning a public building?"

(Eagerly anticipating another gem of an answer, as the tale unfolded, I wasn't disappointed!)

candidate..."I'd get the sack!"

Then 2 sheds asks the applicant if he has any questions...

candidate..."Is it mostly women?"

2 sheds answers..."There are some men working in cleaning but it is mostly women, why?"

candidate..."Well, you know what women are like!"

Ed...I don't think they'll be asking for his references any time soon!

baring all...

2009-09-30T18:48:00.002+01:00

I've changed my name! 'Liverpool Poet' was a bit... meh...! Jamie Oliver's 'naked' sobriquet never did him any harm and going bare (allbeit footwise) worked for the Contessa and Sandie Shaw! Scousers are well known for their 'cheek' so, despite me having my back to the camera, I am now 'The Barefaced Poet'!

Never mind the bollocks...

2009-09-28T23:21:00.007+01:00

I'm currently reading 'Bollocks To Alton Towers' which is a humorous compilation of all the 'off the beaten track' quirkier places to spend a British day out. I also have the sequel lined up, unsurprisingly entitled 'More Bollocks to Alton Towers'.
Having visited a few quirky places in my time, I eagerly scanned the index for any familiar names and was surprised to see that a couple of the more memorable places we've been to didn't even get a mention! (Although I am extremely tempted to visit the Southport 'Lawnmower Museum' to see Joe Pasquale's strimmer, rock and roll!)

And so, on to my contribution to 'Bollocks'! :0)

The first one that springs to mind has to be the 'Cars of the Stars' museum in Keswick. It must have been around 1991 that we visited as it was our (my boyfriend, now husband, and myself) first weekend away together and we chose to spend it in The Lake District. We did also visit The Pencil Museum during that same weekend which DOES get a mention in the book!
Yes, there is a museum dedicated to the (his)story of the pencil. Where would we 2b or not 2b without the humble pencil?
Anyway, back to the stars and their cars. It was a rather unremarkable place from the outside and I think we were the only ones there at the time. I was quite excited, having been a fan of the TV series 'Knight Rider', to see that they had one of the actual cars from the show. A real KITT car, complete with a Michael Knight waxwork dummy in the driving seat!
They had a pretty comprehensive selection of cars but there was something odd going on... All the vehicles that had a driver had the exact same dummy as the KITT car. In actual fact, David Hasselhoff's visage peered out at you from all of them! Extremely amusing to see him with a sheepskin coat and a flat cap, sitting in the driving seat of Del Boy's yellow 3 wheeler!
I wonder if they got a discount from the mannequin manfacturer? "Just give us 20 models of The Hoff, no-one will ever notice!".

Another odd place which I'll never forget was 'The Dracula Experience' in Whitby. Whitby is infamous as the place where Count Dracula landed when he arrived in Britian in Bram Stoker's novel. We were actually quite surprised when we arrived in the lovely little seaside town to see that everything wasn't named after the infamous vampire. There was no 'Dracula Inn' or 'Vlad's B&B'.
In fact, the gothic connection was very much understated and we were hard pressed to find anything to do with Dracula! That is, until we stumbled on the gem that is (or was) The Dracula Experience! It may have morphed into something more sophisticated these days but back then it was just one room with a few exhibits of not much note. The sign at the ticket booth said "No Refunds" which kind of forewarned us that it would be a bit rubbish, but we were game for a laugh!
The only exhibit I can actually remember was a cloak used by Christopher Lee in the film. It was a very dark room and you had to go back on yourself, guided by ropes, to see everything. I didn't realise, probably because of the gloom, that we were actually retracing our steps. Then we came upon what I thought was a waxwork of the man himself. I was just remarking to my other half how life-like this model was and was about to give it a poke just to check if it was warm blooded or not, when the thing leapt out at me, both of us uttering a blood curdling scream! I think I frightened him more than he frightened me!
I have never been so scared in my life and the last my boyfriend saw of me was my back, silhouetted by the daylight streaming through the emergency exit!